The Muse Is Loose

Can't believe I haven't posted on the blog for 2 whole weeks. Well, yes I can. I haven't been able to write anything lately. After a couple of weeks staring at a blank computer screen, the Muse FINALLY returned & I'm back to crankin' away on RECKLESS ENDEAVOR, the sequel to BAD LATITUDE. My Muse, his name is Mickey, smokes cigars. He's not related to that goody-two-shoes rodent in Orlando. Okay - so he's on the young-ish side & he's probably not gonna grow up to be a healthy Muse, but right now - at this very moment - I don't care. I'm finally getting some words down & the story is flowing faster than my two fingers can type. Sometimes I use three - thumb on the space bar should count as a finger.

I don't want to be rude, but I hafta cut this post short. Pop is gettin' very impatient waiting for me to finish describing ....

What? Okay! Okay! Sorry.

He just told me to stop blabbin' & get back to work. I left the poor old guy tuggin' on a stern line & he's a bit winded. I need to finish writing this scene so he can rest up for the next chapter. He's anothe cigar smoker with an attytood.

Sheesh, I tellya if he keeps complainin' like this, I'm gonna bump him off.

My 1st Book Signing

Yesterday the St Augustine Lighthouse & Museum was the location for my first ever book signing. I was scared to death. Not sure if I was nervous about 'the pitch' or worried that sales would be dismal, like maybe even zero! The lighthouse folks opened the doors fifteen minutes early & the first couple through the doors (they were from Toronto) bought a book! What an icebreaker!!!


Deb has an eye for "stuff" - so she set up the table with lots of cool eye-catching promo gadgets - a small wooden treasure chest filled with faux gold pieces, skeleton parts made of foam & miscellaneous little trinkets. It turned out to be a kid magnet. We are in our element when it comes to kids, maybe 'cause we're kids at heart. No more nerves for JaxPop - lots of joking, laughing & teasing. We had a blast. Sales became unimportant - just let it roll. Here's a pic of Deb's set-up.



I couldn't leave the table so Deb buzzed around taking pics of the festival. The folks from Disney Radio were there. Live bands. Boat building. Plays. Lots of refreshment stands. Pony rides. Tours of the complex. Guided nature walks thru the hammock. Storytellers. Games & a coupla 5K races. It was crazy crowded. I missed all of that. The staff at the lighthouse handed out maps at the door showing the locations of the 'attractions'. Directional signs were posted on the grounds to use with the map to get where you wanted to go. Here's a pic of my favorite sign.




This is probably my favorite place to hang out. 2 Chapters of BAD LATITUDE are set in the haunted lighthouse (Ch 9 - Dead Girls & Ch 10 - Hezekia Pittee). I've done quite a bit of writing & editing in its shadow. Somehow it seemed fitting to do my first book signing in that same shadow.



The lines were pretty constant but the staff kept everything moving.



The gift shop workers kept the book near the cash register, replacing the stack as sales continued. Several times, the cashiers ran out to our table & swiped the books right off our display racks & we would have to run to the car to grab another box. (I didn't want to bring them all in & look cocky. I especially didn't want to have to carry boxes of books out to the car when it was all over.) We were supposed to be there from 11 'til 3 but were asked to hang out a little longer - 'til 5. It was a steady flow all day. In the end, the lighthouse gift shop bought more books to replace their inventory & we returned to the car, smiling like idiots, with .... all empty boxes. Truth be told.... the great day of sales was the result of Deb's slick marketing skills. 2 years of hard work upstaged by strategically placed bones & coins. (Sigh!)



There were plenty of highlights worth mentioning but I'll only include a couple. 1st was meeting a County Commissioner with a great story about his experience as a lowly Private during his time in military intelligence. I'm going to put it in writing for him. It's funny & inspiring. 2nd was a visit from 13-year-old Victoria. She read the book at school about a month ago & said she 'loved it' - then bought her own copy. How cool is that?

The people that manage the lighthouse & museum & their group of hard working volunteers were spectacular. They went out of their way to provide maximum exposure & made us feel really comfortable. Now they want me to do another signing in April for a weekday shindig for school kids. I need more books - & that's a good thing. Whew!!! What a rush!!!

Bullseye On My Back???

Ever notice how so many TV commercials make men out to be helpless half-wits? I'm starting to think WIMMIN are believin' that stuff.

Deb hates to do the grocery shopping. She's a browser. I'm not. I have it down to a science. Takes me less than an hour to get a $200 order - & get home & put it away.

So I'm at the deli.... Here's THE DELI LADY....





Me - I'd like 1/2 a pound of Boar's Head Imported Swiss please.
Deli Lady - The Publix Brand is cheaper
Me - Thanks but I'll stick with Boar's Head
Deli Lady - Huffs & puffs & rolls her eyes like I'm an idiot - "It ain't my money"
I order 3 more items - each time she gives me an attitude & a speech about belt tightening & cutting out frills. People are starin' at me.
Deli Lady - There's really no difference between brands. You're just wasting money.
Me - (Now I'm annoyed) Lady ... My wife prefers Boar's Head. I don't even look at lunchmeat so I could care less. It's my money to waste - not yours. Just get the stuff sliced so I can get outta here.
Old guy waiting with his ticket starts to laugh. Deli Lady is fuming.
Me - (One more jab - commenting to the old guy) "Can you imagine that some moron acually married her... on purpose?
Deli Lady slams my lunch meat & cheese on the counter - Old guy laughs out loud.

Coupla hours later I decide to get a haircut. The barber that's never open, isn't open. I go to a joint next to Starbucks, all Wimmin hair cutters. Get in the chair.
Me - Yaknow, I think I want it short. How 'bout a flat top?
Lady - You're dreamin' - hair's too thin for that.
Me - Well aren't you diplomatic. Look at it as your biggest challenge of the day.
Lady - Least ya don't try the comb over thing like Donald Trump.
Me - It's thin - not gone! (True - it's thin, but the thinning hasn't progressed)
Lady - If you say so....
Me - Guess we'll see if you can do miracles so ya get a tip.
(She did a good job - gave her a $5 tip)

My dad taught me to cook.... which means I can't cook. Tonight we weren't in the mood for a big dinner - in or out. Deb decided she wanted chicken. I detest chicken so I said, "I'll make one of those frozen pizzas later."
Deb - I'll make it for you. (She's in another room adding pics to FaceBook)
Me - I can do it. How tough can it be to stick that in the oven? Do what yer doin'
Deb - Okay - Don't burn it.
Me - (sigh!)
So I read the directions, heat the oven to 475, pop it in & return to the book I'm reading.
Deb - Later... from the other room..... Is your pizza done?
Me - Nah... it's got about 5 minutes to go. Meanwhile I'm running to the kitchen knowing it's gotta be burnt. It is. Now I have a dilemma. I ain't admittin' to burnin' the pizza. I can't eat the whole thing & don't like 'em anyway. Frozen pizza with black cheese is even worse. So... I eat the pieces that are the most burnt... to hide the evidence. I choke some of it down, wrap up the rest & throw it out. Maybe Deb will think I was hungry after all & wolfed it down. All is good. I'm in the clear.
Deb - Half an hour later - How was the burnt pizza?
Me - Whaddya mean?
Deb - (Laughing) I smelled it burning, that's why I yelled out to ya.
Me - Wasn't burnt THAT bad.
Deb - Was the cheese black?
Me - Yeah. Guess some of it was. Maybe just a little.
Deb - Yeah....right.... just a little.




.

Lotsa Cops & Redneck Dawgs

There is a nature preserve behind our property. It's a jungle, thick with palmettos, vines, sticker bushes, twisted live oaks, & loaded with wildlife - deer, wild pigs (with sharp tusks), armadillos, gators, & snakes. Lots of snakes. Lots of poisonous snakes. I've never made an attempt to walk through it. Maybe Bear Gryls would give it a shot for his Man vs Wild show.


Some moron, trying to escape the county Sherriff, plunged into that snake infested mess in the middle of the night. We had a Police chopper sweeping across the tree tops with a huge spot light beaming down. This went on for about an hour when I decided to check things out. I flipped on all of the outside lights - enough to blind fans at Yankee Stadium & started walking around the house. Then I heard the footsteps through the heavy brush - heading my way. 15 to 20 feet behind the hedgerow. I told Deb she should call the County Sherriff cuz the guy they were tracking had almost reached our back yard.

A couple of minutes passed & Deb returned to the back door to announce that police were on the way & the guy at the desk said I should get in the house & put my weapon away. Bummer. I had the old adrenalin rush goin'. I felt like ... like ..... Rambo!



But I probably looked more like this guy.



Deb got into the action - Ran out to the garage & grabbed her customized AK 47.



Our flanks were unprotected so we stationed Nubber (our cat) at a window on the north side. He didn't see much action, but he was ready. He made me proud.



The chopper hovered over the back yard. Real low. Real loud. Sherriff's Deputies arrived. 15 or 20 of 'em. They swarmed all over the place. They looked inside & under the boat & my truck, all around the property & into the edge of the woods. Then.... they set the redneck hounds loose. I'm making an assumption that they were rednecks based on appearance - which I know is very unfair. Couldn't help it.




After an intense search and some serious lawn trampling & boat climbin' by the deppittees .... the dogs & the cops...... lost the bad guy! Maybe snakes or gators got 'im. Maybe a wild pig! An armadillo with an attitude? Dunno. All I know is... bein' Rambo wasn't so much fun after all. It's not easy for a guy my age to puff out his chest & suck in his gut for that long.

MOWGLI VAN GOGH

This will be hard to believe, but.... I have a friend. His name is Jaime, but I (for the past 15 years) call him Mowgli. (Yaknow - the dude from Jungle Book?) We worked as a team on a few really cool projects. A mall renovation, the first "green" building in southeastern Pennsylvania & a few others. He's a terrific Project Manager. I'm a year or two older & several inches taller, but he has more gray hair (probably from working with a risk-taking stubborn mule like me so often). Sometimes I call him Desi 'cause of his slight accent (assent) & his tendency to screw up American slang with things like "you're trying to pull the sheep over my eyes". My kids are grown. He has one adult daughter that now teaches disadvantaged kids in Philly (she graduated from the University of Miami with lots of honors) & three littluns at home. He moved to South Carolina a few years ago & transferred to North Carolina last spring. So what's the big deal?

We both started (late bloomers) doing something creative in our semi-old age. I began writing a coupla years ago, just before he took on painting. The wave picture is the third painting that he's shown me & frankly, I'm impressed. I'd better get another book done just to keep pace, but his story is still better....

Here's the cool part. Jaime was raised in Peru, which is why I figure he wore banana leaves as a kid & therefore named him Mowgli as a vertically challenged adult. His family was ridiculously wealthy, owned a huge 'estancia' & employed several locals. A military government took control of the country when he was a teenager & confiscated everything. Jaime & his parents had to flee the country with virtually nothing. They ended up in New York living with relatives, where his dad died of a heart attack (at a very young age). Now Mowgli, I mean Jaime, didn't speak any English, just Spanish & German. He taught himself the language (except for proper slang & expressions apparently) by watching the news on TV. After finishing high school he worked his way through college..... & the rest is too long to write about here.

So he emailed me yesterday (& recounted some of his real life story) & I'm gonna paste most of it below, picking up with his reply to my question "how long's this artsy stuff's been goin' on Mogli?". You will note HIS reference to banana leaves.

Since before last year Holidays I decided to try painting to see what I could do. I am truly just an amateur having fun...I am honored that some people seem to like what I do.

All I know is that it is a lot harder "to move forward if you have one eye looking back..."(kinda funny mental picture, eh?) I also, know that your health and spirit are the most important things on this earth...my family once had a very "high standard of living" and it got taken away by the military government,so we had to start over with just a "banana leaf for cover" and learn a new language and a new culture here in the US. If I can do it anyone can...my grandpa used to say "adelante y rabo tieso" literal translation: "forward with a stiff butt"(i.e. more appropriate "grin and bear it").

Life is Good, my brother.

Jaime


The guy just has a great outlook on life. By the way, after transferring to NC .... his projects were all put on hold - so he's been job hunting since November. Hopefully things will turn around soon & maybe we can team up again.

A Blob of A Blog?

Part of the original movie 'The Blob' starring newbie actor Steve McQueen was filmed in my old hometown of Downingtown (affectionately called D'Town) Pennsylvania. The diner, where the climactic scene was shot, is still there with the sign out front that proclaims "Home Of The Blob". Doesn't make the food sound particularly appetizing to someone unfamiliar with the history of the joint. "Hey - gimme a 'blob' of mashed potatoes willya...." Steve McQueen turned in a pathetic first time performance, but he improved &, eventually, became an icon. Proof, I suppose, that there's hope out there for everyone with the determination & guts to pursue their dreams.

I've been trying to figure out the purpose of blobbing... I mean blogging. There are some blogs that are very instructional. Others provoke debate, sometimes even nasty arguments. Some are just plain entertaining.

So.... I've been thinkin', maybe too much, about the whole thing. Is it worth it to maintain a blog, Facebook, MySpace, etc.? I know I've sold some books through JaxPop & FaceBook & I've made some cool friends, but....maybe I'm just polluting cyberspace with this drivel.

There's nothing instructional on my blog. I'm not qualified as a writing 'coach' or book promotion wizard. I don't get into politics (though I have strong opinions). There's nothing particularly interesting about me as an individual - I'm just an average Joe, I mean, average JaxPop. My posts aren't enlightening, inspiring, entertaining or provacotive.

What direction should I take? Pull the plug & put my energy into something new? Tie it in more with the book & the characters? Keep doing what I've been doing?

Anyone have any ideas or suggestions.... heck..... even questions? Hey y'all - I'm all ears (even though I still can't hear out of 'em.)

Outdoor Antibiotics

Okay - so it hasn't been a well kept secret that I've been battling some kind of flu & respiratory thing for several weeks. Now Deb has it. We're a great combination these days - She can't talk & I can't hear. I was joking with my ghost-hunter friend Mary from Indianapolis (on Facebook), that Deb starts every sentence now with "HUH?" - just to get it outta the way. So what's the worst part of a month-long misery? Take out of the equation the fact that I am the world's worst patient. Baby I can whine like a toddler. Forget the writing. No way to concentrate. I've tried & just get crankier. Homelife? We take turns - whoever feels better at a given time does what needs to be done. We haven't accomplished anything beyond routine chores or shopping. No appetites.

I think our biggest frustration is just feeling house-bound. I've been going to work, which may be one reason for this condition to be prolonged, so I get a break in some sense. The problem is, we both enjoy the outdoors - any activity outdoors. The beach, downtown St Augustine, the water, the parks, the lighthouse - that's what we do. Deb takes pictures & I get ideas. Her pictures are always better than my ideas.

So, a couple of weeks ago, when I was only slightly miserable, we went to Blue Springs to check out some water logged BEASTIES. It was a good morning. Hope we have some more of these soon before I go loony.

Here's a 'herd' of manatees. There were almost 200 when we were there. They were trying to stay in the warm spring water (72 degrees). Below 60 - for any prolonged amount of time & they die.



Coming up for a breath of fresh air. I forget how to breathe through my nose.




Wonder why these things were also called mermaids???











A hawk blending in with the surroundings




My favorite pic - A great Blue Heron (we have paintings of these birds)




Okay - that's enough. I'm feelin' cranky again.