Saturday, March 7, 2009

Lotsa Cops & Redneck Dawgs

There is a nature preserve behind our property. It's a jungle, thick with palmettos, vines, sticker bushes, twisted live oaks, & loaded with wildlife - deer, wild pigs (with sharp tusks), armadillos, gators, & snakes. Lots of snakes. Lots of poisonous snakes. I've never made an attempt to walk through it. Maybe Bear Gryls would give it a shot for his Man vs Wild show.

Some moron, trying to escape the county Sherriff, plunged into that snake infested mess in the middle of the night. We had a Police chopper sweeping across the tree tops with a huge spot light beaming down. This went on for about an hour when I decided to check things out. I flipped on all of the outside lights - enough to blind fans at Yankee Stadium & started walking around the house. Then I heard the footsteps through the heavy brush - heading my way. 15 to 20 feet behind the hedgerow. I told Deb she should call the County Sherriff cuz the guy they were tracking had almost reached our back yard.

A couple of minutes passed & Deb returned to the back door to announce that police were on the way & the guy at the desk said I should get in the house & put my weapon away. Bummer. I had the old adrenalin rush goin'. I felt like ... like ..... Rambo!

But I probably looked more like this guy.

Deb got into the action - Ran out to the garage & grabbed her customized AK 47.

Our flanks were unprotected so we stationed Nubber (our cat) at a window on the north side. He didn't see much action, but he was ready. He made me proud.

The chopper hovered over the back yard. Real low. Real loud. Sherriff's Deputies arrived. 15 or 20 of 'em. They swarmed all over the place. They looked inside & under the boat & my truck, all around the property & into the edge of the woods. Then.... they set the redneck hounds loose. I'm making an assumption that they were rednecks based on appearance - which I know is very unfair. Couldn't help it.

After an intense search and some serious lawn trampling & boat climbin' by the deppittees .... the dogs & the cops...... lost the bad guy! Maybe snakes or gators got 'im. Maybe a wild pig! An armadillo with an attitude? Dunno. All I know is... bein' Rambo wasn't so much fun after all. It's not easy for a guy my age to puff out his chest & suck in his gut for that long.