Tuesday, December 2, 2008

A Little Sunburn Would Be Nice About Now

Here in my temporary Chicago "home" temps are in the 20s. Snow is on the ground (capping lots of ice - you always have to have freezing rain first). 30 mph winds & gray skies (always gray skies - it's been sunny maybe twice). This is not my idea of a good time. Yesterday I spent 45 minutes chipping away at the windshield etc before taking off on a 2 hour drive to the job - normally 1/2 an hour in decent conditions. I had to eliminate the weather update thing on my homepage - too depressing to see what the temps are back home in St Augustine. Why would anyone want to live up here? Hey Oprah - You have enough $$$ to live where it's warm! Are you nuts? Buy Hawaii!! So I'm grumpy. Sue me.

So a few days ago Deb went to Macy's to buy boots - Think they're called UGZ or something weird. She asked my opinion - 2 bad ideas in this scenario. 1st was me going in the store to begin with & the 2nd was Deb asking for my opinion. Gave my opinion (dummy). Deb started 2nd guessing her choice as we left.

Me - "Do you want to exchange them for the others while we're still here in the parking lot?"
Deb - "Nah. These will be fine."
Me - "Uh... Just fine or do you want the other ones?"
Deb - "These are OK."

(Fine & OK are not the answers a guy wants to hear at this point.)
Interlude - We get back to the hotel & Deb tries them on again.

Deb - "I think I'm going to exchange these."
Me - "Uh... OK, whatever you wanna do."
Return to Macy's. Makes exchange.

Did I mention it's bloody cold up here?
Back to hotel.

Deb - "I'm still thinking black would have been better."
Me - "What's the difference? You're only gonna wear 'em here. When we get home they'll end up in the shoe cemetery anyway."
Deb - "Nah, I definitely want the black ones."
Me - (Sigh) "Why don't you just get the black & keep the brown & make it easier."
Deb - "Cause it's a lot of money."
Me - "We've logged enough miles changing shoes - we coulda driven home & back by now. I'm beyond money at this point."
Deb - Laughs at me (very common).
Me - "OK. Let's get this over with, but I want to wait outside."

Go back to make the exchange. They don't have the ones she wants & she returns empty-handed. (This is NOT good)

Me - "Wutzup? Where's the boot things?"
Deb - "Didn't have my size in the ones I liked."
Me - "So why not keep the ones you sorta liked?"
Deb - "Nah - I'll be fine."
(There's the "fine" word again.)
Me - "You need something warmer than what you've got."
Deb - "It'll be OK - don't worry about it.
Me - (Sigh!)

Get back to hotel. Deb discusses her dilemma with the lady at the front desk - I fall asleep in a lobby chair in front of a fireplace while this takes place. She shakes me awake. I'm disoriented.

Deb - "Theresa printed me out directions to another store that has them. If we hurry we can get there before they close."
Me - "Hurry? I'm in the middle of freakin' Siberia, you're handing me Mapquest directions (always, ahem, reliable) & you want me to hurry?"
Deb - "Yeah."
Me - (Another sigh.) Look at the directions head out the door. "I'm waiting in the car again. Maybe I'll read." (I detest shopping.)

Amazingly, I find the place in plenty of time. No wrong turns. Deb returns with a bag & a smile. (Her smile always makes it all worthwhile for me by the way.)

Me - "So you got what you wanted this time. Right?"
Deb "Not exactly, but these will be fine."
(There's that word "Fine" again.
Me - "Great." Face forward - hits the gas.

Santa - If you're out there.... I wanna go home where it's warm. My tan is fading.