Saturday, January 2, 2010

Botox & Fried Baloney

It's the 2nd day of the new year & most resolutions have already tanked. Didja make any?

I've never understood the idea behind resolving to change or improve on a certain date. Why January 1st? Really, any time of year is appropriate. I quit smoking every single day! Boy do I feel better.

Every year people say they're gonna lose weight & get healthier. It's impossible, 'specially the way the evil advertisers draw unsuspecting victims into various eating establishments. Who, for instance, could resist this?

Makes ya kinda wanna flip your car up onto 2 wheels tryin' to turn into the place. Wonder what a chicken liver does. D'ya think they really put sand on the baloney? Be a bit gritty I would think. Ruffage? Hmmm...

Since there's no chance of me keeping any resolution, I've decided to cheat. This year, I'm not going to age. Yup! Y'all heard right. Bought me a 55 gallon drum of 'Just For Men' hair coloring, a roll of industrial strength sandpaper & 3 cases of Botox. The Botox will come in handy with my bad back. 20 or 30 injections is all it'll take before I'll be able to pull my socks up by simply raising my eyebrows.

On a less serious note: The Haunted City Writer has been very busy ... uh... writing. Haven't been blogging much but hopefully that'll change soon. Lots of stuff coming up.