"Your first line sells the book. Your last line sells the next book." Mickey Spillane
"Where's Papa going with that axe?" asked Fern. (From Charlotte's Web by E.B. White)
Does that sentence grab your attention? Do you really want to find out where Papa's going with the axe? Does it make you want to read more? Okay so I've already read it & I know how it works out. Charlotte's Web is a classic children's novel, though in a lot of ways it's pretty deep, with death being a major theme. But it starts out with a question about Papa's action.
So opening lines - do they work? I decided to pull my books off the shelf & see how I started the three already-published Jack Rackham Adventures. I didn't want to post the last lines because they tend to give away the story endings. Sorry.
Drumroll please -
BAD LATITUDE
There was no escaping the hurricane's fury. Okay, not awful, it was my first book, but I probably should have combined it with the 2nd sentence where actual action takes place - The center mast snapped, toppling with a thunderous crash as the doomed ship listed to port, exposing its massive keel. Action instead of set up. At the risk of showing my bias, at least this opening might provoke some interest. A reader might be inclined to read further to discover what happens to the poor folks onboard this ship being destroyed in a hurricane. Maybe.
RECKLESS ENDEAVOR
A thick rope made of hemp & flax cinched his neck, biting into the skin while a thinner cord bound the gnarled hands behind his back. Somebody's in big trouble here. Who? What did he do? Is he going to die or get rescued? He certainly wasn't being treated gently, I mean, the rope IS biting into his skin. Not perfect, but hopeful. It might not be enough to grab, but it might provide a little tug.
GALLOWS POINT
Rachel couldn't breathe as she spun helplessly through brilliant pulsing light. Well, I stuck a gerund in there. I try to avoid them since they describe an incomplete action, so I'm not sure how this one got past me. Rachel is obviously unable to change anything about her situation - she's 'helpless' but is this opening sentence enough to make a reader go further? Hate to say it, but probably not. Hey, just being honest, here. Fortunately (in terms of story pacing) Rachel confronts her kidnapper, the dreaded pirate Calico Jack Rackham (he's dead of course) within the first couple of pages. So there's THAT.
The good news? Most readers will go a little further than the first line so make sure the story takes off.
