Monday, June 22, 2009

INSOMNIA

Sleep. What I wouldn't give for 6 uninterrupted hours of the stuff. Ain't happenin'.



I have to take a pill to knock me out. 1st hour - no problem, lights out. After that (seems like 60 minutes to the second!) it's all tossin', turnin', pillow fluffin', thinkin' about "stuff" - & taking lots of these



Exhaustion finally takes over & I sleep uninterrupted - for half an hour before the alarm goes off. I wake up with these -




I've tried everything - bought a ridiculously expensive mattress, purchased every variation of pillow imaginable, avoided caffeine after noon. Nuttin'! My ritual is always the same - I put my bottle of Rolaids on the end table, next to my iced tea (I use a bottle with a lid so I can't knock it over in the dark), turn the ceiling fan on, turn another fan (for noise) on high, take my knock out pill, read for 15 minutes, (I don't watch TV), & then crash...... for my hour-long ration of rest.



So I get home today, kiss Deb Hiya & ask "How was your day?"

Deb - "Fine - been doing laundry." Doesn't look as thrilled as usual to see me.

Deb - "What the HELL did you get all over the sheet & blanket last night?"

Sidebar - Deb has a thing for WHITE. She get's personalized Christmas cards from the folks at Clorox. When she buys new shirts (blouses?) they're usually white - she had 47 of 'em at last count. Typical shopping conversation would go like this:
Deb - "Look, I bought a couple new tops. Aren't they cute?"
Me - "They're white - right?"
Deb - "Yep"
Me - "Yeah - real cute."

So I'm tryin' to figure out what she's talkin' about when it hits me. My acid reflux had kicked into high gear. I was groggy - so I grabbed what I thought was the bottle of Rolaids, screwed the top off & tried to shake a few out. Instead, I grabbed the bottle of iced tea, & dumped it, in a shaking motion no less, all over my side of the bed (top sheet & blanket - white of course). A cold & rude awakening.

My routine is about to change - Deb says I'd better learn to like bottled water.