Tuesday, April 29, 2008

A Guy Type Email

A friend of mine emailed this to me today. Sick, but true, most of it, anyway. I can actually be off the phone in less than 30 seconds (unless it's my mom) & a 3 pack of underwear is now $11.95.

Deb will love this one.....

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding
plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just
another snack. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt toa water park. You
can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell
you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive
to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to
turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People
never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes
don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood
all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one
suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for
the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you,
he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have
strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts
for years, maybe decades.You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes--
one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs
look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of
choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping
for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.


Susan Sandmore said...

Oh, to be a guy! This is all so true.

JaxPop said...

Thanks for stopping by. Your posts are a riot! I had to break away to get back to my WIP. Good luck with your writing & sifting.