Saturday, January 2, 2010

Botox & Fried Baloney

It's the 2nd day of the new year & most resolutions have already tanked. Didja make any?

I've never understood the idea behind resolving to change or improve on a certain date. Why January 1st? Really, any time of year is appropriate. I quit smoking every single day! Boy do I feel better.

Every year people say they're gonna lose weight & get healthier. It's impossible, 'specially the way the evil advertisers draw unsuspecting victims into various eating establishments. Who, for instance, could resist this?

Makes ya kinda wanna flip your car up onto 2 wheels tryin' to turn into the place. Wonder what a chicken liver does. D'ya think they really put sand on the baloney? Be a bit gritty I would think. Ruffage? Hmmm...

Since there's no chance of me keeping any resolution, I've decided to cheat. This year, I'm not going to age. Yup! Y'all heard right. Bought me a 55 gallon drum of 'Just For Men' hair coloring, a roll of industrial strength sandpaper & 3 cases of Botox. The Botox will come in handy with my bad back. 20 or 30 injections is all it'll take before I'll be able to pull my socks up by simply raising my eyebrows.

On a less serious note: The Haunted City Writer has been very busy ... uh... writing. Haven't been blogging much but hopefully that'll change soon. Lots of stuff coming up.


laurabest said...

Not going to Age? Wish I had thought of that..Happy New Year!

Joylene Butler said...

Haha, you're my hero. Okay, so I do have a resolution: to keep breathing, writing, and connecting with the now. I'm 8 lbs lighter than I was on this date last year. I'm 4 mos away from being older than my father. I'm spending more time NOT thinking or worrying about the future. I think I've come a long way.

Because I began 2009 with this attitude, I found 2009 to be the best year I've had in so many years, I can't even remember how long it's been.

IOWs, I'm carrying on with the attitude: If it ain't broken, why fix it.

Carol J. Garvin said...

What a sign! LOL! And if I could pull up my sox just by raising my eyebrows I wouldn't need any other skill in life! You crack me up!

No resolutions happening here but I hope to make a serious effort towards agent representation this year instead of tinkering endlessly with my mss.

I'm glad to see you back on your blog... have been missing your witticisms... and will look forward to hearing more about that "stuff".

JaxPop said...

Laura - I'm fading fast. Have a great 2010.

Joylene - I like your attytood. I lost 3 lbs this afternoon! Changed from boots to flip flops.

Carol - The sad thing about that sign.... it's real! Worse - there are people that eat that stuff. Glad the post made you laugh.

Horror with Heart said...

That botox maneuver sounds fun. Ha. Glad to hear you're busy but haven't forgotten your blog entirely. Best in 2010 with that no-aging thing. Personally, I'm trying to go backwards in time.

ReNu said...

I've made a few, but whether they'll last, we'll know soon! Happy new year!

JaxPop said...

Keith - It would be cool to go back in time just enough to be younger than my sons (33 & 29). To be 29 again ..... Stuck with the Botox plan I'm afraid.

Anonymous said...

Maybe they are looking to hire people who live like chickens? Either the feathered variety or the yellow kind.

Hope to see you Thursday at No Whine, Just Champagne. I stopped by here to get your blog URL to add to my blog roll. I don't know why, but I thought I'd already done so.

JaxPop said...

ReNu - Glad you stopped by. Hope the pen collection is outta control.

Pat - See you Thursday - sort of. Great review. I saw it earlier. Pretty soon you're gonna charge for blog visits. Happy for you. Joined the FB group that you suggested. Now I'm hangin' with the rich & famous!

Ronnie said...

I've been away too long. I enjoy your blog, Dave. I hope you can always fit it in between the travels and the books.
Deb's butterfly and bird pics are beautiful!

JaxPop said...

Ronnie - Nice to see you here (& on FaceBook). Can I get a hand from the audience for "Joe's Stove Operator" please...... Thank you