How The Story Starts

 "Your first line sells the book. Your last line sells the next book."  Mickey Spillane

"Where's Papa going with that axe?" asked Fern. (From Charlotte's Web by E.B. White)

Does that sentence grab your attention? Do you really want to find out where Papa's going with the axe? Does it make you want to read more? Okay so I've already read it & I know how it works out. Charlotte's Web is a classic children's novel, though in a lot of ways it's pretty deep, with death being a major theme. But it starts out with a question about Papa's action.   

So opening lines - do they work? I decided to pull my books off the shelf & see how I started the three already-published Jack Rackham Adventures. I didn't want to post the last lines because they tend to give away the story endings. Sorry. 

Drumroll please - 

 BAD LATITUDE 

There was no escaping the hurricane's fury. Okay, not awful, it was my first book, but I probably should have combined it with the 2nd sentence where actual action takes place - The center mast snapped, toppling with a thunderous crash as the doomed ship listed to port, exposing its massive keel. Action instead of set up. At the risk of showing my bias, at least this opening might provoke some interest. A reader might be inclined to read further to discover what happens to the poor folks onboard this ship being destroyed in a hurricane. Maybe. 

RECKLESS ENDEAVOR 

A thick rope made of hemp & flax cinched his neck, biting into the skin while a thinner cord bound the gnarled hands behind his back. Somebody's in big trouble here. Who? What did he do? Is he going to die or get rescued? He certainly wasn't being treated gently, I mean, the rope IS biting into his skin. Not perfect, but hopeful. It might not be enough to grab, but it might provide a little tug. 

GALLOWS POINT 

Rachel couldn't breathe as she spun helplessly through brilliant pulsing light. Well, I stuck a gerund in there. I try to avoid them since they describe an incomplete action, so I'm not sure how this one got past me. Rachel is obviously unable to change anything about her situation - she's 'helpless' but is this opening sentence enough to make a reader go further? Hate to say it, but probably not. Hey, just being honest, here. Fortunately (in terms of story pacing) Rachel confronts her kidnapper, the dreaded pirate Calico Jack Rackham (he's dead of course) within the first couple of pages. So there's THAT. 

The good news? Most readers will go a little further than the first line so make sure the story takes off. 

BAD LATITUDE - Jack Rackham's 1st Adventure

I used to blog back in the day & had a lot of fun with it. Made a lot of friends as well. This is my first attempt at getting back into it - a whole new set up. So I'll plan on posting about my books, writing in general, pirates, ghosts, shapeshifters & lost treasure, sailing ships, haunted St Augustine, & maybe some baseball & grandkid stuff.

It (writing) started in my garage - had my laptop out there - was thinking about my grandson Jack, we had moved from Pennsylvania to Florida & he lived in Pa (still does) so I was missing him (still do). I tapped out "Jack spent summers with his grandparents in St Augustine." (Daydreaming at that point.) I ended up writing a story about how he came to visit - which morphed into a "chapter" then another & another & several months later I had the first draft - and made countless changes, even with plot & characters. 3/4 of the way through I decided it would be cool if he was the descendant of a pirate - a real pirate, Calico Jack Rackham. So I rewrote the whole dang thing & had a blast doing it. BAD LATITUDE did so well, & I had so much fun, that I started writing another Jack Rackham book - & then another. I'll post about them (& my Augie series & current WIP) in the future.

This is the back of the book copy for my first book, which still does remarkably well.

The seaside town of St. Augustine is haunted.

Everyone knows that.

For fifteen-year-old Jack Rackham, a descendant of the notorious pirate

Calico Jack, it was supposed to be a relaxing summer of great surfing, exploring

the Ancient City and adventures on his very own boat, Bad Latitude. His

discovery of a three hundred-year-old diary changed all of that.

When the secrets of the old book are unraveled, Jack enlists the help

of his best friend Kai, and together, they begin the dangerous search for

the hidden fortune buried beneath the abandoned burial grounds of

Rattlesnake Island. Digging under the light of the full moon, the boys are

unaware that a terrifying menace waits in the darkness, determined to

prevent their escape. Supernatural guardians of the island are clawing and

dragging their way through the snake-infested marsh grass, surrounding

the pair, working to create a deadly ambush, while offshore lurks a

mysterious ship, shrouded in an eerie green fog, flying the flag of the

long dead Calico Jack Rackham.

Before daybreak, Jack and Kai will face a desperate struggle for

survival, ultimately choosing between unimaginable wealth and

friendship. Will they put their own lives on the line to save one another

from the evil that stalks their every move, or will the promise of great

riches lead to tragedy and despair?