Monday, February 2, 2009

Rugrat Wisdom




Our oldest son Michael sent us a video of our granddaughter Isabel "reading" - She's 3 & doesn't actually read. She knows the story well enough that she goes page by page pretending to read the words. The jist of the story was - someone was getting married & she wanted to be the flower girl. Too bad I can't include the video. Bossy lil' thing that she is - Belly announced, as she finished, that "you can clap now" followed 5 seconds later by "Okay - that's enough". End of video.

Here's a bit of rugrat 'wisdom' - Someone sent this to me. I didn't write or collect any of it.

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.......he asked me how old I was, and I told him, '52.' He was quiet for a moment, and then asked, 'Did you start at 1?'

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who was THAT?'

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond; I had a swing made from a tire that hung from a tree in our front yard; we rode our pony; we picked wild raspberries in the woods.' The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's computer. She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked. 'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying, 'Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!'

When my grandson and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, he whispered, 'It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.'

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, 'I'm not sure.' 'Look in your underwear, Grandpa,' he advised. 'Mine says I'm four to six.'


Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public servant,' said a teacher. The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant. 'The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. 'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked. 'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.'

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.' 'They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child. 'No,' said another. 'He's just for good luck.' A third child brought the argument to a close. 'They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants'.

10 comments:

Ronnie said...

Charming stuff. We all should write this stuff down before it leaves our aging memory. These short ones think in such a twisted way it's hard to recall their stories and do them justice. Did I mention we should write this stuff down?

Joylene Nowell Butler said...

Ah. Thanks, excellent stories.

I was coming back from town the other night with my two friends. My girlfriend stopped and picked up her granddaughter, and we sat in the back together. She's 5.

At one point, she looked up at the moon and said, "My great-poppa is in the moon."

I asked, why.

"Because that's where heaven is."

I guess my eyes got large, because she looked from me back to the moon and said, "Doesn't matter what anybody says. My great-poppa is in heaven and so is my cat Puddles. And I know it.

I said, "Seems awful close to be heaven."

She gawked at me. "Well, how far do expect an one-hundred year old man to walk?"

Rebecca Ramsey said...

Hilarious!
And your granddaughter is as cute as can be! I LOVE watching kids pretend to read. My Sarah used to finish all her stories by saying, "End The."
A little backwards, but cute!

David Ebright said...

Ronnie - You're right. We get mixed up from time to time between our boys as far as who said what...

Joylene - I like the moon / heaven story. Very funny, but I thought the moon was made of cheese.... & had cows jumpin' over it...

Becky - Belly is always a riot. Loves to talk on the phone to 'Poppy' - End The. poPxaJ

Carrie Harris said...

How adorable. Right now, my kids are at the age where they color on the walls a lot. That's slightly less adorable, I have to admit.

Sheila said...

Well, is Miss "La Belly Luna" getting the flower girl gig? Important stuff to a pre-reader! I'll be my fingers crossed for her. What a cutie!

David Ebright said...

Hey Sheila - Belly usually gets her way ('specially with Poppy). Deb took that picture in December. Isabel's room was completely dark so she was hoping she had her in the 'sneaky shot'. The squint is real & this is proof that grandparents don't care if the grandkids get any sleep.

Ronnie said...

Dave,
Just got your email that you've been under the weather. A month is a long time. Hope this is nothing serious.
No deleting! Not until you are your old self again.
I finished Bad Latitude last night. :) It was a delight to read and I could imagine my grandsons devouring this page turner and looking forward to future adventures of Jack and Kai and Pop.
Brilliant job you did!!!
I was pleased to see the good character traits that Pop and his grandson will surely inspire in the young ones that read your book. Boy, do we need it these days.
I admire you writer types no end. A WHOLE lot of work to pull off a good book like this.
Get well and take care, Man. Let us know if there is anything we can do.
Ronnie - who will be looking at St Augustine in a whole new light next time I visit!

ReNu said...

Awesome. They're much much wiser than adults!
My nephew joined his dancing class and came back: "All we do is stand there and simply shake."

David Ebright said...

Ronnie - Thanks for the glowing comments about Bad Latitude. I really wanted the positives & responsible traits / actions to come out. Your thumbs up is really appreciated.

ReNu - Kids are a blast. I miss seeing my kids & grandkids, they live in Pennsylvania, but we stay in touch & have fun via the phone & computer. The little ones come up with some really funny stuff.