REDNECK CALIMARI

I'm a ridiculously picky eater. Coffee has to be fresh & strong. Meat has to be trimmed. Can't stand chicken (yard bird). Don't like green veggies - 'cept asparagus. Bananas have to be a little green. Won't try tofu. No microwaveable or frozen anything. No packaged out of the box dump it boiling water stuff. Hamburger has to be lean sirloin. (Oreos w/ milk is always the perfect meal.) Salad's OK, but I like it made with spring mix, little pieces of fruit & nuts - not regular lettuce & dressing. I probably drive Deb nuts & lemme tellya - she spoils me rotten with things like shrimp fra diavlo, blackened mahi, seasoned rib eye, mussels marinara, clams casino, almost anything Italian, yadda yadda yadda. I do compromise when it comes to pizza.

One thing that Deb likes & I absolutely detest is calimari. Dave don't do no calimari. I've got rubber bands in the desk that I'd rather chew on. So here's the deal: We go to a particular place for pizza from time to time. Deb gets the small Mediterranean - which has clams, shrimp, crab, & CALIMARI on it. Yuck. I get a small whatever doesn't have calimari on it pizza. I won't get one medium with her topping favorites on half 'cause I'm afraid a calimari might get loose & wriggle onto 'my side'. So we end up having to buy 2 'specialty' pizzas (same as regular pizza with an inflated price), a coupla Bud Lites & the stinkin' bill is always around 50 bucks - for stinkin' pizza.

There's only one thing worse than calimari, hot dogs, green beans & fake macaroni & cheese in my book - & that would be REDNECK CALIMARI as pictured below. NO WAY!!!