Orange Alert

An author friend was being interviewed on the radio about his latest book earlier this evening & I decided to call in to ask a question. Now if I had identified myself as someone that he knew (via email & such), I would have come across like a stage prop. A planted fan. So I asked a rather lame question when my opportunity came about. I was woefully unprepared to sound intelligent, never actually expecting to get on the air, but at least I caused the interview to get back onto the real topic, meaning, the guy's novel.

Here's where it got tricky. I wanted to send a message to this author that 'it was me' - as a show of support. He's a good guy, terrific talent & he's done quite a bit to help me out. Now he & the host had been complaining about the frigid temps up in the northeast, where they're located. I mean, we're talkin' minus 28, without wind-chill. I'm in Florida, & it's literally 80 degrees warmer here than up there, even though it's been chilly. So I made the comment - "I'll send y'all some oranges" - hinting that I was somewhere warm & hoping that the Hemingway wannabe would get the hint. After 10 more seconds of banter about tropics & palm trees - he got it (& stuttered just a little). This led to an email from said author within 3 minutes of the show's end. The email was pretty funny but I won't post it.

A couple hours later, Deb says "Why'd you tell him you would send up some oranges?"
Me - "I dunno - I was tryin' to give him a hint about who was callin'."
Deb - "You probably made him nervous."
Me - "Huh?"
Deb - "Like in The Godfather. Whenever somebody's gonna get whacked - there's always an orange in the earlier scene. Maybe he thought you were some nut."
Me - (Wicked laugh) "Well, I am a bit of a nut (in a funny not psycho way). Maybe I'll send some anyway."

So here's from our backyard. We picked these the other day, but no one's gettin' whacked or goin' swimmin' with the fishes. Not 'til it warms up anyway.

BAD LATITUDE - A Jack Rackham Adventure

BAD LATITUDE - A Jack Rackham Adventure is finally up for sale. The book was published in November, but my Chicago trip & workload held up the official release. It's finally for sale at www.booklocker.com under the fiction/adventure category.

Here's where it gets tough for me. Marketing. I honestly don't like talking about myself - unless it's something funny. On the business side - making pitches to clients on potential deals involving multi-million dollar construction & development projects is a walk in the park - because that's business - I'm expected to do that & I'm paid for that, but I never mention all of the awards that have come my way for various Medical Centers or Office Complexes or the fact that I built one of the very first 'Green' buildings before 'Green' was cool. Writing about wacky stuff that goes on around here or with my family - no problem - I'm only a part of that, like being the driver in the post about the boots a few weeks back. Explaining that I've written a book for kids, one that's actually pretty good - I'd be more comfortable slamming my hand in a car door.

My friend Mark LaFlamme (super talented author of the books DIRT: An American Campaign, THE PINK ROOM & VEGETATION) tells me I had better get over this in a hurry. He's right of course - & his advice has been invaluable - but I'm still uncomfortable.

My wonderful wife Deb has always been very shy. Everyone that meets her walks away knowing that she's a real sweetheart - a great person, extremely likable. She has battled her shyness on my behalf talking up BAD LATITUDE & now several local stores, including the Florida Park Service & the county tourism centers, have agreed to stock it. In every instance, when she has brought the topic up, I've run off to hide. This morning, she asked why it's not on Facebook & why haven't I blogged about it - the book has been available now for about a week. So, with my tail between my legs, I'm working on this blog post, with sweaty hands & a very red face, wondering if I'll hit the publish button in the end.

In a nutshell, BAD LATITUDE is an adventure story for kids that like books with a fast pace, a mix of history & humor, creepy ghosts and a dash of the old 'I didn't see that comin' factor. The story follows the summer of fifteen-year-old Jack Rackham, the descendant of the pirate Calico Jack Rackam (who will make an appearance) & his friends Kai, Valerie & Talia in my haunted hometown of St Augustine Florida. Since they can't drive yet, they get around using Jack's boat BAD LATITUDE, an incredibly awesome high performance machine given to Jack as a gift from his very wealthy grandparents. Naturally the kids do what all kids do down here - They surf, kiteboard, have beach parties, explore the local attractions & deal with their awkward first 'romances'. When Jack is given a 300-year-old diary that describes a fortune hidden away in the burial grounds of Rattlesnake Island (a real place by the way - 2 miles from my house - all locations in the book are real) he & best friend Kai become obsessed with finding the loot, not realizing that, if successful in their search, they may not escape from the island with their lives. This ultimately forces the choice between wealth & friendship.

One other note - This book is totally clean. There is no profanity, adult situations, drugs, drinking or any behavior that I wouldn't condone for kids. In that sense, it's not "edgy" &, while I was told that "edgy" sells better - I wasn't willing to compromise in this area.

There's an excerpt on my author page (prologue & 1st 2 chapters) - just Google BAD LATITUDE A JACK RACKHAM ADVENTURE & that will take you to my author page at www.booklocker.com. It's also available on Amazon & Barnes & Noble & other websites but they haven't posted the description or excerpt yet - probably not for a week or so.

So that's my first attempt at plugging my own work. In the meantime, RECKLESS ENDEAVOR, my 2nd book, is moving along well & I'm excited with the way it's coming together. Maybe that's part of my problem (that & being a computer-idiot). I'd rather create tall tales than market them - but I'll work on it. Now if I could only figure out how to add links.....

A Little Sunburn Would Be Nice About Now

Here in my temporary Chicago "home" temps are in the 20s. Snow is on the ground (capping lots of ice - you always have to have freezing rain first). 30 mph winds & gray skies (always gray skies - it's been sunny maybe twice). This is not my idea of a good time. Yesterday I spent 45 minutes chipping away at the windshield etc before taking off on a 2 hour drive to the job - normally 1/2 an hour in decent conditions. I had to eliminate the weather update thing on my homepage - too depressing to see what the temps are back home in St Augustine. Why would anyone want to live up here? Hey Oprah - You have enough $$$ to live where it's warm! Are you nuts? Buy Hawaii!! So I'm grumpy. Sue me.

So a few days ago Deb went to Macy's to buy boots - Think they're called UGZ or something weird. She asked my opinion - 2 bad ideas in this scenario. 1st was me going in the store to begin with & the 2nd was Deb asking for my opinion. Gave my opinion (dummy). Deb started 2nd guessing her choice as we left.

Me - "Do you want to exchange them for the others while we're still here in the parking lot?"
Deb - "Nah. These will be fine."
Me - "Uh... Just fine or do you want the other ones?"
Deb - "These are OK."

(Fine & OK are not the answers a guy wants to hear at this point.)
Interlude - We get back to the hotel & Deb tries them on again.

Deb - "I think I'm going to exchange these."
Me - "Uh... OK, whatever you wanna do."
Return to Macy's. Makes exchange.

Did I mention it's bloody cold up here?
Back to hotel.

Deb - "I'm still thinking black would have been better."
Me - "What's the difference? You're only gonna wear 'em here. When we get home they'll end up in the shoe cemetery anyway."
Deb - "Nah, I definitely want the black ones."
Me - (Sigh) "Why don't you just get the black & keep the brown & make it easier."
Deb - "Cause it's a lot of money."
Me - "We've logged enough miles changing shoes - we coulda driven home & back by now. I'm beyond money at this point."
Deb - Laughs at me (very common).
Me - "OK. Let's get this over with, but I want to wait outside."

Go back to make the exchange. They don't have the ones she wants & she returns empty-handed. (This is NOT good)

Me - "Wutzup? Where's the boot things?"
Deb - "Didn't have my size in the ones I liked."
Me - "So why not keep the ones you sorta liked?"
Deb - "Nah - I'll be fine."
(There's the "fine" word again.)
Me - "You need something warmer than what you've got."
Deb - "It'll be OK - don't worry about it.
Me - (Sigh!)

Get back to hotel. Deb discusses her dilemma with the lady at the front desk - I fall asleep in a lobby chair in front of a fireplace while this takes place. She shakes me awake. I'm disoriented.

Deb - "Theresa printed me out directions to another store that has them. If we hurry we can get there before they close."
Me - "Hurry? I'm in the middle of freakin' Siberia, you're handing me Mapquest directions (always, ahem, reliable) & you want me to hurry?"
Deb - "Yeah."
Me - (Another sigh.) Look at the directions head out the door. "I'm waiting in the car again. Maybe I'll read." (I detest shopping.)

Amazingly, I find the place in plenty of time. No wrong turns. Deb returns with a bag & a smile. (Her smile always makes it all worthwhile for me by the way.)

Me - "So you got what you wanted this time. Right?"
Deb "Not exactly, but these will be fine."
(There's that word "Fine" again.
Me - "Great." Face forward - hits the gas.

Santa - If you're out there.... I wanna go home where it's warm. My tan is fading.

Looking Ahead

Do ya ever think about your future? How is it all gonna play out? Ever set lofty goals & make careful plans? Think ya got everything mapped out in ridiculous detail? Lemme make it easier. Here's how it really goes folks.







Which begs the question - What happens if you're not much of a beer drinker? I suppose I'd better develop a taste for the stuff real soon.

REDRUM - REDRUM - REDRUM

6 weeks of hotel living. It's getting to me big time. Now I know why Jack Nicholson went nuts up there at The Overlook. All that's missin' here are a few corpses, several feet of snow & a creepy maze. "REDRUM - REDRUM - REDRUM" - Where's my axe?

















Lotsa folks would probably say whaddya complainin' about? You have a nice suite in a Chicago suburb - Your wife (she's with me) doesn't have to cook or clean & you can go out for dinner every night & have whatever you want. Yeah - great & I'm gettin' fat as a cow.


















I need to get home - real soon. I keep clicking my heels together & muttering "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME" - but it ain't workin'. When I'm home, I eat the right food - less beef, more seafood. I get more exercise. There are always things to do around the house - I can hike through town - ride my bike on the beach - wear shorts & flip flops - swim - STAY TAN. I gotta hurry home so I can build up me 'musckles' - like this guy.


















Then there's being cooped up when it's cold n' windy - which is almost every day up here. Writing in a hotel suite is nearly impossible. Forgot to pack the muse I suppose. Heck - I can barely post stuff on the blog. So that leaves TV. I despise TV. But it's worse than that! It's 'chick flicks' aaagggghhhhh!!!! I've seen more of Matthew McConaughy than his own mother. I even bought "The Notebook" & sat through that! But.... being away from home has been tough on Deb too, so I have to cut her some slack, 'specially with the TV & DVD thing. I don't wanna be one of these.

Lighthouses & Special "Guests"

We're huge fans of lighthouses. This lamp is a replica of the one in Cape May New Jersey. It sits on a table in the sitting room off the master bedroom.























This picture hangs in our bedroom. It's from one of our favorite places - Cape Henlopen. That was "our beach" when we had our weekend/summer house in Delaware.




















If you look closely - there's a ferry boat in the background. It travels across the mouth of Delaware Bay from lighthouse to lighthouse - Lewes Delaware to Cape May New Jersey. We used to hang out on our boat Laffin' Gaff, just out of the travel lane & eat lunch & watch them roll past. We had a visit one day from Homeland Security guys in a Coast Guard cutter. Guess we were suspicious looking characters. They were 'just checkin' on us. After the tough guy start - they were pretty cool.


















There's even one here in Chicago.




















Here's my favorite - This is in St Augustine. The picture was taken at dusk. Looks like a great place for vampires to hang out.



















No matter where you go, St Augustine's LH is on the horizon. This pic was taken from Laffin' Gaff. We have tons of pictures from all angles - but don't want to go crazy posting 'em all.



















This picture is included in my soon to be available book, BAD LATITUDE. You'll find it at the start of Chapter 9 Dead Girls.






















This is the lightkeeper's house. We've never ever taken a picture there at night without something strange showing up in either the foreground or backgound. I guess you have to expect that from a haunted lighthouse. I can't say for sure if that "stuff" in the picture is a ghost, but it wasn't something added after the fact.






















It's only 219 steps to the top of the spiraling iron staircase. No construction workers were killed when the St Augustine Lighthouse was built - but 2 of the construction superintendent's daughters were. I let my imagination run wild with that bit of history when I wrote BL. So what do you get when you mix 4 teenagers, an empty lighthouse at night with 2 dead girls & their long deceased over-protective father? Hmmmm....



















I have visited lighthouses from Maine to Florida & I'm always amazed at how they're built & wonder what strange tales & secrets are hidden away in each one's history. It had to be a lonely & difficult life for the keepers & their families back in the day when they had to carry fuel to the top to keep the lights burning. Not a job I would want to do, well, not for very long anyway. I also wonder how many ships were saved from wrecking along the coastline because of their hard work & dedication?

There was a show on TV (Discovery Channel?) about our haunted lighthouse. The 'paranormal experts' were pretty freaked out. Wouldn't it be cool to spend the night alone in one - especially during a storm? Especially if it really was haunted?

The Back Cover Copy

So you sit down one day & start writing an adventure story for kids. The 1st draft flows along pretty well - just get the thoughts down. Create the characters & give them personalities. Keep the pace up-tempo. Expand this - cut that. Put it away & let it ferment for a bit. Do the homework about the publishing process.

Start re-writing. Tearing it apart. Slap yourself silly wondering "What's up with THAT?" Revise - Revise - Revise. Make sure you're not loaded up with similes or structure problems. Check continuity. Move portions from one part of the story to another. Put it away & let it ferment for a bit. More homework.

Start editing. Check punctuation. Format. Change words around. (There always seems to be a slightly better way to get a point across. A better way to say it.) Line by line - 9, 10, 27 times. You practically know it all by heart. Is it funny enough? Is it scary enough? OK so it's fiction but is it realistic enough? Put it away & let it ferment for a bit. More homework.

Begin editing again. Make final decisions - who are you sending it to. By now the "book" has been read aloud at least 15 times - looking for that odd word or awkward phrase. Getting anxious & frustrated. Another project is already underway & you NEED to put more time in on it. One last time - put it aside to ferment.

Final tweak. Explain the book in 40 words or less - amazingly, it gets the OK. Final tweak then the really this time final tweak & THEN - Write the "hook" - It's the only chance for creating the 2nd impression (after the cover). Can you consolidate the 67,000 words that you've agonized over into .... 250 & make it interesting without giving away too much or turning it into a blatant sales pitch? Write it & change it 20 times. One last look. 4 more changes. The potential reader will look at the cover - if that gets 'im, the book will be flipped over to scan the description on the back. Will they get past the 1st line? The 2nd? The 3rd - before putting it back on the shelf & moving on?

So here it is - The "Hook" for BAD LATITUDE - A Jack Rackham Adventure. You're a kid now. Would you even THINK about opening the book at this point?

The seaside town of St. Augustine is haunted. Everyone knows that.

For fifteen-year-old Jack, a descendant of the notorious pirate Calico Jack, it was supposed to be a relaxing summer of great surfing, exploring the Ancient City and adventures on his very own boat, Bad Latitude. His discovery of a three hundred year old diary changed all of that.

When the secrets of the old book are unraveled, Jack enlists the help of his best friend Kai, and together, they begin the dangerous search for the hidden fortune buried beneath the abandoned burial grounds of Rattlesnake Island. Digging under the light of the full moon, the boys are unaware that a terrifying menace lies hidden in the darkness, determined to prevent their escape. Supernatural guardians of the island are clawing and dragging their way through the snake-infested marsh grass, surrounding the pair, working to create a deadly ambush, while offshore lurks a mysterious ship, shrouded in an eerie green fog, flying the flag of the long dead Calico Jack Rackham.

Before daybreak, Jack and Kai will face a desperate struggle for survival, ultimately choosing between unimaginable wealth and friendship. Will they put their own lives on the line to save one another from the evil that stalks their every move, or will the promise of great riches lead to tragedy and despair?


I left off the author info - nothing interesting there. It's just about me, I'm nobody special, & it's very brief.

Thoughts anyone?